Kirsty met Andy after he had left the army through ill health. Andy was very proud to have served in the Coldstream Guards and paratroopers but never really told Kirsty everything about his time in military service. Andy suffered a number of incredibly serious injuries during his time in the army which have left him with deteriorating health. The pair have been through years of medical tests, differing diagnoses and uncertainty trying to get to the root of Andy’s health problems. Kirsty finally felt some relief when she was put in touch with an army doctor and the military took over Andy’s care. She felt the military took responsibility for Andy and were much clearer and more decisive in suggesting treatment. The birth of their son was both a joy but also brought challenges as Kirsty had to manage so much. Kirsty describes how there have been so many near fatal moments with Andy’s health that they try to live in the now as much as possible. Discovering Help for Heroes has also made a big difference in their lives. Andy can spend time with people who relate and he now has hobbies they never thought possible. Kirsty joined Band of Sisters which she didn’t think would be for her but she absolutely loved the respite weekend she was able to attend and has remained in contact with some other women, valuing the ability to speak openly with others who can fully empathise. They even take respite breaks as a family and their son enjoys the fuss made of him. Kirsty wanted to share their story to make others aware that help and support is available and essential, even if people feel they are coping and don’t need it.

Mildred Schultz recalls how she grew up on a farm and went to school in Walton-on-Thames. She attended a business college in Kingston and from there worked at a shipping company in Cobham. Even though her job was protected, she volunteered and joined the Inter-Services Research Bureau. She explains how she went to work at S.O.E. (Special Operations Executive) headquarters in Baker Street London, realising she was working for the resistance movement, reading and destroying reports. Asked if she would travel abroad, Mildred said ‘yes’ and undertook FANY (First Aid Nursing Yeomanry) training at Chicheley Hall in Bedfordshire. From here she was sent to Italy for further training on a boat and describes how they were pursued by U-boats, bombed and machine gunned. In Italy she became the PA to the man in charge of maps and equipment, and then worked as an assistant to the Admin Captain Amos. She recalls spending a snowy Christmas in Monopoli and then onto Siena to the Headquarters of Number 1 Special Force, taking a perilous jeep journey up a mountain road with boulders near the front-line with guns aimed at them. On a lighter note, Mildred remembers a makeshift Christmas service under a derelict chapel with many nationalities, some of whom had escaped from Prisoner of War camps, and also Germans who had escaped and given up, all singing carols together.

Content warning// This interview contains discussions of sensitive topics such as PTSD, depression and suicidal thoughts which some viewers may find distressing. If you are affected by these topics, please consider seeking support from a trusted person or organisation.   German Uli met her partner Alex while he was working for the Professional Service Guard. He had previously served for almost 18 years with the Royal Logistics Corp and Uli knew bits and pieces about Alex’s time in Northern Ireland and Sierra Leone. In 2015 Uli noticed that Alex was becoming quieter and retreating into himself, he admitted that he was feeling depressed. Alex was diagnosed with PTDS. It was recommended that Alex join Band of Brothers for support and that Uli join Band of Sisters. She didn’t think she would need assistance herself but wanted to find out more about supporting someone through PTSD and depression. Uli is incredibly open about Alex’s symptoms of depression, anxiety, being hyper alert and burying his emotions. The more stories she heard from the Band of Sisters, she became incredibly grateful that Alex was never physically or verbally abusive. Alex’s treatment was slow and it took a very long time, and a great deal of pain to manage, before he was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia, or chronic pain syndrome. Thankfully, he had Uli to chase and advocate on his behalf but he now lives with extreme pain on a daily basis. Uli describes how she used to try and be superwoman for Alex but it all became too much. She worried so much about him, especially when he had suicidal thoughts. Uli sought help and was given medication and also undertook therapy with Hidden Wounds which she says was brilliant. The Band of Sisters has also been a terrific support. Not only is there always someone there who knows what you are going through, Uli has also been involved in numerous fundraising activities such as trekking in Cambodia. But Uli knows the road ahead is still difficult, she confesses she has had dark thoughts herself and only by opening up did she realise these were likely caused by her medication. She admits she never puts herself first and hopes that by sharing her and Alex’s story it will help others to reach out and find help.