Cautioned against the dangers of the trenches, 19-year-old Patrick ‘Pat’ Hollins joined the RAF Volunteer Reserve in 1939, where he would go on to experience luck in all kinds of ways.  With very few responsibilities prior to enlistment, Patrick considered the war to be great fun, particularly the role he played in Coastal Command. After travelling the country undertaking Morse Code and gunnery training, he took to the skies on board his first Whitley Bomber - known at the time as the ‘flying coffin’.  True to its nickname, journeys on board Whitley aircrafts were always precarious, often causing problems for its crew and sometimes even casualties. On his third flight, Patrick’s plane was forced to ditch in the Atlantic Ocean where, as one of five survivors, he found himself stranded on a rock thirty yards from the shore during the middle of the night. Patrick was extremely fortunate to survive, though it wasn’t the only time he and his squadron would have to make an emergency landing.  After leaving 280 Squadron, Patrick was sent to Squires Gate in Blackpool, where he became an instructor for pilots and navigators. Although it was a nice posting, within a year he was already eager to return to the skies, so consequently took up the position of a Navigator in 235 Squadron, where he would spend the brief remainder of the war.  With luck on his side, Patrick returned safely home at the end of the war, able to reflect on his experiences in the air and on land. This film was of created for a VE Day celebratory series called ‘Home’, with special thanks to the Royal British Legion for helping to make it happen.

Dennis loved planes as a child, having lived near the American airbase in Northern Ireland. He joined up as an RAF Halton apprentice at aged 16 and describes an extensive and wide-ranging education, working on Spitfires, Hurricanes and even a Mosquito. On completion of his apprenticeship, Dennis was posted to South Wales for 1 year of improver training, during which he worked on Mark 3A and 4 Meteors and then transferred to Pembroke Dock, where he worked on the Sunderland Flying boats. It was from here, that in 1952 he was posted to Korea at short notice. He was based near the Imjin River with the British Army and tasked with working on the Auster aircraft. He describes in detail the work he had to do to keep them flying and the many experiences he had during his time there. The winters were very difficult and he tells of the ingenuity of the British troops in overcoming some of the hardships. He was also posted to the aircraft carrier HMS Glory for one tour, he was clearly fascinated by the operations on board ship. He returned home to his wife and a 23-month-old daughter whom he had never met.

Content warning// This interview contains discussions of sensitive topics such as PTSD, suicidal thoughts and vivid flashback description which some viewers may find distressing. If you are affected by these topics, please consider seeking support from a trusted person or organisation.   Kate was training to be a nurse with the RAF when she met her husband-to-be, John, an RAF Police Officer. They both completed tours of Iraq and John went on to complete one more and also two tours of Afghanistan. Each time John returned, Kate started to notice slight differences in his character, such as an increase in drinking and frequent nightmares. She was grateful of both her RAF and medical training as it helped her understand the mental shift between home and work that John was having to manage. John sought help but was told there was nothing medically wrong and he was to carry on as usual, which he did. It was the birth of their son that Kate thinks caused John’s nightmares and flashbacks to intensify. He sought help again and this time was diagnosed with severe PTSD and signed off work, but without his job to provide a sense of purpose John struggled to function. John tried both CBT and EMDR therapies but Kate feels they both made the situation worse. John is now on a medication pathway. Kate describes this as an incredibly isolating time as no one knew what she was going through. She felt she could hardly leave John alone, especially when he started having suicidal thoughts. However, when she joined Band of Sisters she found a supportive group of women with shared experiences. She even managed to attend a weekend away which really helped her realise how stressed she was. She describes finding Band of Sisters as a real turning point which helped her realise she needed to take care of herself too. John has also found help through Help for Heroes and has attended a few courses and is now a qualified bushcraft and survival instructor. John has recently had a cancer diagnosis and Kate reflects that, sadly, the cancer process has been much smoother than the PTSD. Kate feels it is incredibly important for others to hear their story so they know they are not alone. She is even compiling a book.

Kenneth French, also known as Ken, was born in Wandsworth, London in 1920. While at school he enjoyed being outdoors and playing sports and fondly remembers his headmaster taking students out on walks in the countryside. This is where Ken learnt to draw maps. After leaving school, Ken used these skills in his job in the War Office, drawing maps for the RAF. His experience there made him want to do more for the war effort, and he volunteered for the RAF in 1941. He started his training in Canada. On the journey there, he recalls guarding American prisoners housed in a make-shift cell in the bowels of the ship. He was stationed in Winnipeg for 4 months before returning home to continue his training. His first operation was a day trip to Emmerich on the Rhine, where he saw an ally plane go down and only one person survive. In another operation, Ken recalls recording 18 friendly aircraft being shot down, and remembers not being able to do anything to help. Over his 38 operations, he witnessed 99 aircraft shot down; still Ken reflects that it was ‘a very gentle’ tour of operations. Ken took part in day and night-time raids, he was always focused on getting the job done and getting his squadron home safely. Whilst carrying out operations in the sky he wouldn’t take notice of any damage done on the ground. But once the war was over and he was stationed in Hamburg, he could see the damage caused by Bomber Command and described it as ‘absolutely horrific’. Ken describes his time in the RAF as a job to be done and he was happy to have survived, putting his survival down to luck and ability.

CONTENT WARNING: This interview contains graphic details of injuries, which some viewers may find distressing. If you are affected by these topics, please consider seeking support from a trusted person or organisation. Jenny recounts how she met her now-husband, Daniel, when they were training with the Bolton Sea Cadets as teenagers. At the age of 19, Daniel began training for the Royal Marines. He was deployed shortly after completing his training and undertook two tours in Afghanistan. During his second tour, Daniel stepped on an IED and sustained injuries to his left hand and foot, resulting in amputation and requiring multiple skin grafts. Jenny describes the moment that Daniel’s parents arrived at her workplace while Daniel was on tour and anticipating the worst news. Throughout her interview, Jenny provides detailed information about Daniel’s injuries and surgeries. Jenny and Daniel are now married with one child and another on the way, and Dan has started his own business providing inspirational speaking to others who have experienced similar events. This account highlights the practical aspects of adapting to life-changing injuries and achieving personal and professional goals. Jenny would like her children and others to learn about the ‘war of our time’, which is why she has chosen to share her story.

Mervyn Salter, an able seaman and anti-aircraft gunner, joined the Royal Navy in 1942 at the age of 18. He trained at HMS Raleigh and HMS Drake before being assigned to his first ship, HMS Saumarez, an S-class destroyer. Mervyn recalls his life and duties aboard the ship, including his first voyage during which the Saumarez escorted the Queen Mary with Winston Churchill on board. He goes on to vividly describe the challenges of the Arctic convoys, sharing detailed memories of the harsh conditions, and later provides an engaging account of the Saumarez’s battle with the German battleship Scharnhorst. Mervyn also recounts the ship’s role in providing artillery support on D-Day, which remains a particularly difficult experience for him to talk about. In 1944 the Saumarez gained a new skipper and was promoted to flotilla leader, setting sail for the Pacific where a new ocean provided a new enemy. Mervyn’s reflections on his military service are testament to the courage, resilience and camaraderie that defined his time in the Royal Navy, and his closing words remind us that the events of the war and the sacrifices made by so many must never be forgotten.

Albert Malin recounts the early days of his Naval service spent living in a Nissen Hut on the shoreline of the Solent, coordinating the loading of D-Day landing crafts. A few weeks later, he received his first draft to HMS Oxlip, a Flower-class corvette, whose surprising appearance left him rather taken aback. Albert explains Oxlip’s role in anti-submarine convoy duties, before detailing the heart-stopping moment the crew realised the ship's power had failed, leaving them adrift and alone in the Barents Sea. A successful rescue mission afforded Albert and his crewmates a night of respite aboard sister-ship HMS Bluebell at Polyarny, the Russian base on the Arctic Coast. But the following day, as Oxlip set sail again, Albert recalls witnessing the devastating torpedo hit that sank the Bluebell, killing all but one of its 92-strong crew: a brutal reminder of the desperate situation faced by all those who sailed on the convoys during the Second World War. Every year, Albert raises a glass to the crew of the Bluebell, and by sharing his memories with us here, he ensures their legacies will also live on.

After joining the Navy in 1943 and completing his training at stone frigates HMS Royal Arthur, HMS Scotia and HMS Ganges, able seaman Vic Ould was sent to Chatham Barracks to wait for his first draft. This came in the form of HMS Carron, a brand-new ship in Greenock, Scotland, who first set sail in the dead of night to evade any U-boats lurking nearby hoping for an easy catch. Vic shares details of the many escort missions the Carron undertook in the Arctic and Atlantic Convoys, and talks about the job of a destroyer and how its crew enables it to operate effectively. He also recalls details about his role as a radar operator, and reflects on the end of his military service in Indonesia. Vic – who became a prolific writer who penned several fascinating ‘first-person accounts’ from sailors aboard other destroyers – shares his story with humour, humility and an eye for detail that brings his memories vividly to life.

Aviation was a passion of Tony’s from a very young age. He was always keen on joining the RAF and enlisted with the volunteer reserve. He has happy memories of the training and the thrill of flying, especially his first time in a Spitfire. Tony recalls in tense detail his first encounter with the Luftwaffe and how he survived a miraculous landing in the sea, something for which he was never trained. At the age of 21 Tony travelled to Durban to become a flight instructor. He remembers this time of adventure in a new country with great fondness although it comes to a somewhat sticky end when Tony is lucky to escape a court martial for crashing a Tiger Moth. More luck is on Tony’s side when his restlessness at being sent back to the UK threatens to see him in trouble again but an amenable Station Commander looks out for him and recommends Tony join the Bomber Command. Tony does so and volunteers for 617 Squadron, aka The Dambusters. Tony was well aware of the squadron’s reputation and, seeing it as a great honour to join, works incredibly hard to maintain those standards. He talks in detail about his training and the mission to take out the German Bismarck-class battleship Tirpitz. Tony dedicates this interview to Bomber Command and reflects on the airmen whose lost lives are now commemorated with a memorial in London, a fitting tribute which means the cost of war should not be forgotten.

Hugh Verity, an RAF fighter pilot and later a squadron pilot worked with the Special Operations Executive (SOE), carrying out missions to France. Flying the Westland Lysander, he completed 24 successful operations and 5 more in the Lockheed Hudson. Hugh’s work was vital to the war effort, involving the secret transportation of agents into France and back to the UK. When asked about memorable experiences, Hugh explained he made it his business to not make any. He recalls harrowing stories of his predecessors, one ambushed on the ground in Belgium. But while German forces remained the obvious threat, Hugh tells us that his greatest adversaries as a pilot were fog and mud. The elements made landing on fields extremely difficult and dangerous. Some pilots had no choice to leave their aircraft’s which had sank into the ground. Hugh does recall one significantly tumultuous journey due to fog. Hugh proudly covers his time in the war, talking of the ability of the Lysander, weather challenges, and meeting secret agents he had previously piloted during the war. Hugh’s story captures the intense, clandestine work of RAF pilots working to insert and extract agents in France. For his military efforts Hugh was recognised and decorated for gallantry five times.

Heather Lake recounts her experience of meeting and marrying Andy while they worked together as Army Chefs. They became engaged and married within six months. Heather had noticed indications of Andy's mental health issues from the start. Andy had completed tours in Northern Ireland and Bosnia prior to meeting Heather. During his tour in Bosnia, Andy sustained injuries from a building collapse, leading to his discharge from the kitchen he was working in at the time. Heather describes one significant event that occurred while Andy was changing his daughter's nappy, resulting in social services removing him from contact with his daughter for 18 months. Andy received an official diagnosis of PTSD only a few years ago and experienced physical decline after his injuries. He is now often confined to a wheelchair. Heather anticipates that an upcoming operation might improve their situation. Heather found support through the Band of Sisters, which she joined through Andy, a member of the Band of Brothers. This group offered her a sense of community and non-judgement. Heather's story reflects dedication and commitment to her family’s happiness. The Band of Sisters provides her with the support she needs as she continues to support her family.

Content warning// This interview contains discussions of sensitive topics such as PTSD and addiciton which some viewers may find distressing. If you are affected by these topics, please consider seeking support from a trusted person or organisation.   Kirsty’s partner, Glenn, completed two tours of Afghanistan but it was a tragic accident during a training exercise that turned their lives upside down. Glenn was parachuting down from 30 000 feet when he was blown off course, landed in a tree then fell to the ground. The result was a devastating spinal injury. After a period in hospital, Glenn comes home and Kirsty works hard to keep their lives on track while holding down her job and taking care of Glenn. The couple had never really spent a great deal of time living together before this and it puts a strain on their relationship, especially when Glenn is prescribed morphine which he struggles with. Glenn spends a period at the Headley Court rehabilitation centre where he receives regular medication and physiotherapy but without access to this at home, Kirsty notices a big difference in Glenn’s behaviour. He becomes increasingly angry, he won’t leave the house and Kirsty starts to suspect he has PTSD. Kirsty suggest they get a dog and this becomes a big help as Glenn has to take responsibility for it. Kirsty is even impressed that she managed to get Glenn on a holiday to Cuba. While Glenn is still managing tremendous pain he is also working hard on his rehabilitation and can walk for short periods. Kirsty reflects that they both had to grow up very quickly to be able to deal with this trauma. This experience made Kirsty realise she wants more from her life and she is now training to be a nurse. Although Kirsty joined Band of Sisters she admits it took her a while to fully engage. She wants to share her story so other know about the help and support available, she wonders if she had asked for help sooner might this have been an easier process.

Content warning// This interview contains discussions of sensitive topics such as PTSD, depression and suicidal thoughts which some viewers may find distressing. If you are affected by these topics, please consider seeking support from a trusted person or organisation.

Louise Reynolds has been married to Chris Reynolds for 20 years, sharing a life shaped by his service in the infantry as a rifleman and ambulance driver. Originally from Doncaster, Chris served three tours, working gruelling shifts and long days. His deployment to Iraq during Operation Telic was particularly harrowing, with limited resources and intense danger. In one instance, he saved a fellow soldier who lost his arm in an accident. Meanwhile, Louise entered military life with a romanticised vision of adventure and travel, but quickly realised its reality was far different. Constant upheaval, isolation, and the loss of her own identity made Louise find solace in the close-knit community of army wives in Germany.  Chris’s return from his final tour marked the beginning of an uphill battle. Withdrawn and irritable, he struggled with PTSD. Despite the medical team’s support, the army’s dismissive attitude repeatedly undermined his recovery. Sent on a life-fire exercise in Canada despite his worsening condition, Chris called Louise in a state of distress, leading to his urgent return to the UK. Facing stigma and little support, they fought for his medical discharge after 15 years of service. Adjusting to civilian life also proved challenging. Though the Combat Stress charity provided some treatment, Louise often felt alone in managing the daily impact. She recalls Chris longing for visible scars as proof of his suffering to a world that couldn’t see his wounds. Their turning point came through Phoenix House, Band of Brothers, and Band of Sisters. Louise highlights the importance of these networks; Chris’s journey led him to speak at a school about mental health. Now, Louise, dedicates herself to fundraising for mental health initiatives, determined to ensure that other families receive similar support.

Content warning// This interview contains discussions of sensitive topics such as PTSD, depression and suicidal thoughts which some viewers may find distressing. If you are affected by these topics, please consider seeking support from a trusted person or organisation.   German Uli met her partner Alex while he was working for the Professional Service Guard. He had previously served for almost 18 years with the Royal Logistics Corp and Uli knew bits and pieces about Alex’s time in Northern Ireland and Sierra Leone. In 2015 Uli noticed that Alex was becoming quieter and retreating into himself, he admitted that he was feeling depressed. Alex was diagnosed with PTDS. It was recommended that Alex join Band of Brothers for support and that Uli join Band of Sisters. She didn’t think she would need assistance herself but wanted to find out more about supporting someone through PTSD and depression. Uli is incredibly open about Alex’s symptoms of depression, anxiety, being hyper alert and burying his emotions. The more stories she heard from the Band of Sisters, she became incredibly grateful that Alex was never physically or verbally abusive. Alex’s treatment was slow and it took a very long time, and a great deal of pain to manage, before he was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia, or chronic pain syndrome. Thankfully, he had Uli to chase and advocate on his behalf but he now lives with extreme pain on a daily basis. Uli describes how she used to try and be superwoman for Alex but it all became too much. She worried so much about him, especially when he had suicidal thoughts. Uli sought help and was given medication and also undertook therapy with Hidden Wounds which she says was brilliant. The Band of Sisters has also been a terrific support. Not only is there always someone there who knows what you are going through, Uli has also been involved in numerous fundraising activities such as trekking in Cambodia. But Uli knows the road ahead is still difficult, she confesses she has had dark thoughts herself and only by opening up did she realise these were likely caused by her medication. She admits she never puts herself first and hopes that by sharing her and Alex’s story it will help others to reach out and find help.

Content warning// This interview contains discussions of sensitive topics such as PTSD which some viewers may find distressing. If you are affected by these topics, please consider seeking support from a trusted person or organisation. Vikki and Chris were teenagers when they met and enjoyed a fun, loving relationship. Sadly, this changed when Chris was posted to Afghanistan. Chris’ battalion were hit badly and suffered a lot of casualties, including the death of Chris’ friend, which caused Chris to become very angry. He wanted to stay and fight rather than return home. It was a confusing and isolating time for Vikki, she didn’t know how to help Chris or have anyone to talk to. When Chris returned, Vikki noticed that he was very jumpy as well as angry and drinking a lot more. Chris’ anger escalated so much that Vikki insisted he seek help. Chris was set on a path of PTSD treatment but appointments and treatment were sporadic. He then passed all checks and was cleared for a second tour of Afghanistan. Vikki was incredibly worried about Chris but the big difference for her this time was that they were now living in married quarters so she had other wives and friends around to draw support from. When Chris returns, this time his change in behaviour is so noticeable that he is downgraded to lighter duties at work which made him angrier still. Vikki wishes that she had spoken up more and demanded help for Chris but is incredibly grateful that the birth of their son did mark a positive change in Chris’ behaviour. Chris’ discharge in 2015 was a stressful period when the family suddenly had to find somewhere to live. Thankfully they found a home through a veteran’s housing association which was a massive benefit to both as it meant they were surrounded by neighbours who could relate to their situation. Vikki also thinks being in the NHS system of treatment worked better for Chris as he could open up more rather than feeling he was letting the military down. Vikki also joined Band of Sisters where she values the support and does her best to support others too. She also wrote a poem which was chosen to be turned into a song for the Invictus Games. Vikki acknowledges there were some very dark days and is sad to think of all the ex-military personnel, and their families, left to struggle with their demons. For a long time she felt there was no one else like her but through opening up she has found incredible support and sisterhood and wants others to know they are not alone.

Zoe Meakin, a military wife and mother, shares her journey of balancing work and family during her husband's military career. After meeting Dallas and getting engaged within a few months, Zoe focused on her career as a midwife while Dallas served in the military, noticing changes in him when he returned from tours. After having two children together, they travelled to various countries with Dallas’ work but later returned to the UK. Dallas changed roles to work in the prison guard service but suffered physical and mental injuries after an incident at work, eventually being diagnosed with severe PTSD. This also affected their children, who no longer recognised their father. Zoe used her NHS role to secure support for her husband and children despite many challenges. Initially not engaging with support that was offered to her as a military wife, Zoe recently connected with the Band of Sisters and attended a well-earned respite weekend. She remains in contact with other military partners she met there who have all been through similar life events. Her inspirational story highlights her dedication to both her family and career as she works hard to get the support her family needs.

Kirsty met Andy after he had left the army through ill health. Andy was very proud to have served in the Coldstream Guards and paratroopers but never really told Kirsty everything about his time in military service. Andy suffered a number of incredibly serious injuries during his time in the army which have left him with deteriorating health. The pair have been through years of medical tests, differing diagnoses and uncertainty trying to get to the root of Andy’s health problems. Kirsty finally felt some relief when she was put in touch with an army doctor and the military took over Andy’s care. She felt the military took responsibility for Andy and were much clearer and more decisive in suggesting treatment. The birth of their son was both a joy but also brought challenges as Kirsty had to manage so much. Kirsty describes how there have been so many near fatal moments with Andy’s health that they try to live in the now as much as possible. Discovering Help for Heroes has also made a big difference in their lives. Andy can spend time with people who relate and he now has hobbies they never thought possible. Kirsty joined Band of Sisters which she didn’t think would be for her but she absolutely loved the respite weekend she was able to attend and has remained in contact with some other women, valuing the ability to speak openly with others who can fully empathise. They even take respite breaks as a family and their son enjoys the fuss made of him. Kirsty wanted to share their story to make others aware that help and support is available and essential, even if people feel they are coping and don’t need it.

Fred was a teenager when his home was destroyed in a bombing raid. At the age of eighteen he volunteered for the RAF, trained in gunnery and became the tail gunner in a Lancaster bomber. He took part in the nighttime bombing of Germany and, against the odds, survived 45 missions. There were some close moments and during this period he lost most of his friends in combat. After the war he had a recurring nightmare where, among a landscape of crashed aircraft, there was a space reserved for his bomber. At the start of the Berlin Airlift he was posted to Gatow as an intelligence officer, where his unit at first worked in a tent. Despite misgivings regarding its feasibility the Airlift went ahead anyway, initially using Dakotas and building up to larger aircraft. His billet was at the end of the runway, and at first he had trouble sleeping as the noise was constant, 24 hours a day. The Soviets were close by and made things awkward but never directly interfered although the local population were terrified that the Allies would leave them for the Russians. The devastation caused by bombing in Berlin was awful and the civilians were in poverty, although the airlift ration was about the same as those in Britain. While on duty a plane carrying coal crashed on take-off, killing all the crew. He served in Berlin for the entire duration of the Airlift and felt that it was better than bombing the city.

Jimmy Taylor joined the RAF at 19 to avoid being drafted into the army or working in a coal mine. Motivated by his passion for aviation, he secretly enlisted at a recruiting centre in Reading. His training took him across the UK and eventually to Canada and the United States. Jimmy experienced the harsh discipline of American military training, but despite these challenges, he excelled and became an instructor. He volunteered to instruct American cadets, as the RAF needed to supply 10% of its graduates to train new students. Jimmy trained 20 cadets, enjoying every moment, especially teaching formation flying and buzzing the airfield with his students beside him. In October 1943, he returned to England. His role in the Second Tactical Air Force involved long-distance reconnaissance, mapping future battle areas and updating outdated maps with accurate photographs. While weather often hindered flights, he maintained a vigilant watch over German jet airfields, which included managing risks from German radar detection. On one occasion, while photographing airfields near Rhina, he experienced engine failure and opted to bail out, eventually landing in a field in occupied Holland. After avoiding capture, he planned his escape westward toward Utrecht, aware of the dangers posed by locals and the ongoing German occupation.

Office boy Stan Hoare was called up in June 1943 and he joined the Royal Navy as a radar rating, completing his training at HMS Raleigh in Cornwall and on the Isle of Man. Stan’s first ship was HMS Hart, a modified Black Swan-class sloop, and he recalls the sense of pride he felt when boarding for the first time. He shares memories of his life and work on board the ship during sea trials, the Arctic convoys and D-Day, and remembers the serious consequences of an accident caused by heavy fog in the Bristol Channel during his watch. Stan went on to take a gunnery course and was subsequently transferred to HMS Duke of York, joining the British Pacific Fleet and setting sail for Australia. He vividly describes the differences between the two ships of his service, and remembers the final crashing wave that spared his life but ended his military career. Stan’s story, shared with much humour and humility, illustrates the overwhelming courage, dedication and resilience of all those who served with, before and after him.

Content Warning This interview contains discussions of suicide, PTSD, and substance abuse, which some viewers may find distressing. If you are affected by these topics, please consider seeking support from a trusted person or organisation.   Lorna Hunter, the devoted wife of veteran Thomas Hunter, explains their shared experiences of military service, struggles with PTSD, and their journey to finding support and healing.  Tom served 22 years in the Army, enlisting at 17 and starting in 16 Air Defence, before transferring to 50 Missile in the Royal Artillery due to his boxing skills (which can be found on YouTube!). He later joined the Royal Logistics Corps in the Territorial Army while working as a postman for 21 years. His service took him across Germany and on tour in the Falklands before his 2003 deployment to Iraq, where he developed PTSD. Years of boxing also led to Dementia Pugilistica.  For Lorna, military life brought isolation, especially after 2003. Tom’s struggles after Iraq also proved difficult; diagnosed with PTSD as an army medic, he was denied military support as a reservist. As his mental health declined, job loss and isolation took their toll. Lorna fought tirelessly for answers, and after years of inconclusive treatments, Tom was finally diagnosed with dementia. Help came through Phoenix House, a veteran recovery centre. In the Band of Brothers, Tom rediscovered his love for sports, competing in the Warrior Games and carrying the GB team’s torch. Lorna, too, found solace in the Band of Sisters. She now urges others: “Make the call-Pheonix House saved my husband’s life.”