Content warning//

This interview contains discussions of sensitive topics such as PTSD, suicidal thoughts and vivid flashback description which some viewers may find distressing.

If you are affected by these topics, please consider seeking support from a trusted person or organisation.

Kate was training to be a nurse with the RAF when she met her husband-to-be, John, an RAF Police Officer. They both completed tours of Iraq and John went on to complete one more and also two tours of Afghanistan. Each time John returned, Kate started to notice slight differences in his character, such as an increase in drinking and frequent nightmares. She was grateful of both her RAF and medical training as it helped her understand the mental shift between home and work that John was having to manage. John sought help but was told there was nothing medically wrong and he was to carry on as usual, which he did. It was the birth of their son that Kate thinks caused John’s nightmares and flashbacks to intensify. He sought help again and this time was diagnosed with severe PTSD and signed off work, but without his job to provide a sense of purpose John struggled to function. John tried both CBT and EMDR therapies but Kate feels they both made the situation worse. John is now on a medication pathway.

Kate describes this as an incredibly isolating time as no one knew what she was going through. She felt she could hardly leave John alone, especially when he started having suicidal thoughts. However, when she joined Band of Sisters she found a supportive group of women with shared experiences. She even managed to attend a weekend away which really helped her realise how stressed she was. She describes finding Band of Sisters as a real turning point which helped her realise she needed to take care of herself too. John has also found help through Help for Heroes and has attended a few courses and is now a qualified bushcraft and survival instructor. John has recently had a cancer diagnosis and Kate reflects that, sadly, the cancer process has been much smoother than the PTSD. Kate feels it is incredibly important for others to hear their story so they know they are not alone. She is even compiling a book.